Racoon Dog Drug Testing

Last night, a guy I know explained to me the process of passing a drug test when you smoke pot every day, which I found interesting.

First, you get a friend who doesn’t smoke pot to urinate in a cup. Then you pour some of the urine into a condom and tie off the open end. Then you tuck the condom up behind your scrotum and you stick a small nail-clipper in your sock under the arch of your foot.

When you get to the drug testing place, in addition to patting you down they also make you wait for a half hour so that any urine you might smuggle in won’t be warm when you hand it over, and they’ll be able to detect the ruse. However, since your friend’s urine is snug against your scrotum, it will pass the temperature test.

Once alone in the bathroom, you fish out the condom and the nail-clippers, and use the clippers to open a slit in the condom and empty the contents into the cup they’ve given you.

Then you wait to find out if your friend was telling you the truth when he said he hasn’t smoked any pot lately.

If you don’t have a scrotum you’ll have to figure out something else. I won’t speculate.

Here is a photo of a tanuki, by Stanislav Duben. If you don’t know why I’m illustrating this post with a tanuki, then you’re not Japanese.

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